Everybody hates Spider-Man (or so it seems)

I know what you’re asking yourselves right about now. Who could hate Spidey? Isn’t he the lovable Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man? Even J.J.J. likes Spidey these days. OK, yeah, Spidey still does have a rogue’s gallery of villains who, in all probability, still aren’t so fond of him, but among the general populace, who could hate our wall-crawling hero?

Well, just the other day I came home from the comic shop, and I brought with me, a handful, a handful-and-a-half of short-run Spider-Man titles, including Spider-Man & Wolverine #1, Predator Versus Spider-Man #1 & 2, and Godzilla vs Spider-Man #1, in this batch I also brought home Captain America # 14 & 15,and I must say, that these books paint a very interesting picture of who the House of Ideas believe my old pal Spidey to be.

So, let’s just sort this out, shall we? While teaming Spidey and Wolverine has become a pretty standard pairing by now, getting teamed up with a guy with adamantium claws and a penchant for high-octane fights could be considered dangerous, even for someone with a early-warning danger sense. And then, as if that pairing wasn’t off-putting enough, Spidey then has to face off against both a Predator—an interstellar neigh unstoppable killing machine, and Godzilla—the monstrous, radioactive, fire-breathing, king of the Kajus.

Now while I’m totally “Team Spidey” I’m not entirely sure that these parings are exactly within his weight class, if you know what I mean.

And then, as if this wasn’t enough Spidey is then teamed up with Captain America (Steve Rogers) and Thor to learn what happened to the city of Broxton, Ohio, after the appearance of Asgard landed on Earth and the city disappeared (courtesy of the god of hammers no less)

Now, while all of this seems to be way over the top of team-ups for the Web-Head, let us look at the individual stories.

First up, Logan is contacted by an old SHIELD agent about a missing directory a master database of all the world’s double agents and recruited him to recover it. So, he then conscripts Peter Parker to help him locate it, resulting in them running afoul of Omega Red and Kraven the Hunter who also want the directory. During the fight they discover that Mysterio is involved and somehow seem to wind up in some sort of mind swap twist of their past that somehow seems to involve Peter’s former spy parents.

In the Predator issues, it is a wicked hot several day in in NYC where An ancient Predator who has been stalking the planet for some 100 years but only of supremely hot days becomes active once again and is now trolling through the subways of the Big Apple during a city-wide blackout that has Mary Jane trapped underground in the subway system being chased by the Predator while Spider-Man is racing to catch up and rescue her.

Next we have Spidey facing off against Godzilla in a throwback, continuity retcon implant occurring just after Spidey returns from the (first) Secret Wars and wearing the black Symbiote Spidey suit. We do have to say that we really did enjoy this story most of all, due mostly to the off-handed flippant way writer Joe Kelly penned the story, full of throwback anarchism and references to random Spidey events that took place during that time frame. Nice going, Joe!

Finally, we are treated to Peter wanting to call up Steve Rogers just to chat, and Steve having a heart-to-heart with a woman who is a neighbor about how tough it is for a superhero like him to have “just friends” with others due to the uniqueness of their situation. (Is the other person a normal, or also a hero, and if a hero does that other person know that Steve is a hero.) Then having Steve call Pete, only to be be himself to be called upon by Thor and to ask if Pete wants to join in as Spider-Man. Which Pete totally does, resulting in a couple of very cute moments between Spidey and Cap.

All-in-all we really did enjoy all of the books (mostly because they involved Spidey, and partially because each was well-written and thus, we are interested in seeing how each turn out. (Here it should be noted that the Godzilla storyline appears to be written across several titles as the giant Kaju is appearing in several other Marvel titles which we believe are all somehow tied together forming a much larger story.

We understand that adding Spider-Man (Wolverine, Predator, or Gojira (ゴジラ) to a storyline can add readers(cash) to a title, so yeah, while these types of stories can often simply pretzel-logic the storylines or characterizations of various the various characters involved, but we can (and often have) simply dismiss all of our objections because the story is so good. Your milage may differ.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Did you miss the exclusive Thor: THE DARK WORLD sneak peek from Tuesday’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Here’s an extended look at the scene.

Post by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Minions I could use!

Now this is wicked cool!

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

OK, I'm in!

A Memo from Nick Fury

Agent Coulson of SHIELD

This is why we think that Agent Coulson is so cool:



And this is is why we we totally love him (but in a man-crush kind of way):



Apparently, both of these clips are going to appear on the Thor Blu-Ray disc. Ain’t it cool?

Additional thoughts on Thor (the movie)

Yep, I saw the film (last night — suffer, Droogs!) and I posted my review of it already, and yes, I seriously dug the film. It really is quite good, and that is more than just a relief, it is wicked cool.

And, yeah, I really did have quite a bit of fun with my review, but there are still some observations that I want to make about it. First up (and to be totally honest), I was a tad leery about this film, I mean, it is about a guy prancing around in armor and a winged helmet swing a big hammer. Truthfully, it could have gone very bad, very quickly.  What kept the film from becoming a one-off, bad parody of what comicbook films could (should) be, was director Kenneth Branagh, who Ironically, enough acted in (and directed) Shakespearian films is now the driving force behind the only comicbook character who speaks in Shakespearean-style Pentameter.

More than that, though, it is clear that there is an obvious respect for the source material. Which is to say it is not treated with the same kind of disdain that Joel Schumacher had for Batman during his tenure over that film franchise. Then, of course there is the care that Marvel Studios has taken to interweave the storyline from the current slate of films as they each pay homage to the previous ones as well as help set up the story (and interest) for the next ones.

In this film there are references to Tony Stark, SHIELD, Bruce Banner, and a future Avenger (no, not Cap). There is also the dynamic between Thor and Loki (which is different, than the comic), and it plays out better here. There is homage to the material created by Stan, Jack, and Larry Leiber (as well as the requisite cameo by Stan). We get to see more of SHIELD Agent Coulson, and (interestingly enough), the “human” form of Loki is portrayed akin to the Ultimate Universe version of Loki, which just add to the overall coolness of the film.

Yeah, Marvel has it way out in front of DC on creating a cohesive mythos for the film adaptations of its characters (but Marvel always did have a better grasp on fitting all the pieces of the puzzle together, much like a finely woven tapestry. So, you really owe it to yourself to check out Thor this weekend (oh, and by-the-by, I may be a (mostly reformed) former Marvel Zombie, I never really was a big Thor fan (even though I did contribute to the indexing of Thor’s comics for The Official Index to the Marvel Universe (vol. 2).

Anyway, in case I haven’t said it yet (or said it enough), Thor really rocks, and you should totally check it out.

What are they thinking?

A couple of years ago, when Marvel Comics’ fictional character, Captain America (Steve Rogers) was killed during a year-long storyline entitled Civil War, virtually every news media outlet on the planet carried the story (completely ignoring the fact that a) he was a fiction character, b) he was a corporate icon and without “Captain America” there could be no Cap tie-ins, and c) HE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!)

Well, as those of us who are smarter than the rest of you knew better, sure enough, he got better, and Steve Rogers returned to the land of the living just a couple of years later. Even though he didn't immediately take back the uniform of Cap (now inhabited by Bucky Barnes, his WW sidekick (who had also returned from the dead), he became Super Soldier, and took over the helm of the international spy organization, SHIELD from Nick Fury (who was also dead and now alive again (starting to sense a theme here?).





Yet, even that moratorium on him inhabiting the role of Cap America was was short-lived as word has just come down that Steve will once again pick up his shield and become Captain America (in fact, just prior to the release of the Captain America movie — anyone want to take bets on when the “now dead” Johnny Storm (the Fantastic Four’s Human Torch) will return from the dead? When did you say that the FF film reboot is going to happen?).

Yes, yes, I realize that all of this is old news, but it is relevant only in the following light. In the recently-released Action Comics #900, Superman renounced his American Citizenship. Yep, you read that right, declaring himself to be a citizen of the universe (sort of like he did in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace back in 1987!), he rejected his American citizenship. Guess what the right-wing, conservative Republican-leaning Fox and other media did with this...Yes again, they went right ‘round the twist.

Once again because I'm smarter than you I know better, I feel it necessary to point out a few things. 1) Henry Cavill, the actor picked to portray Superman in the next film is, well, British, 2) Joe Shuster (co-creator of Superman) was Canadian , 3) Kal-El (Superman) isn't from Earth, he's an alien, born on the planet Krypton, and 4) HE’S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!! You effin morons!

Oh yeah, back to Cap for a minute. The week he died, and everyone was yapping about his death, and what it all meant, eight (real life) U.S. servicemen died In Iraq & Afghanistan, and yet, no one mentioned them.

OK, having said all of that, I’m going back to drinking heavy and reading my comics.

And I thought BND was bad!

So I was reading Spider-Man Family and while that title is usually reviewed by my good buddy Chris on SpiderFan, I felt that I had to add my two cents into the mix. Seriously, what a badly-written story lead off this issue. I mean, it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had appeared in one of the Marvel Adventures titles (which are targeted for a younger audience), but this one is supposed to be a continuity implant or at the very least occur within the “normal” Marvel timeline.

The story has (for no apparent reason) Spider-Man and Marvel Girl literally babysitting Dr. Robert Bruce Banner (who is wandering through Mid-town Manhattan) so that he won’t get excited and turn into The Hulk (obviously this particular story is timed to coincide with the imminent release of The Incredible Hulk this June). Only, there really is no logical reason for this set up, (something about the SHIELD Helicarrier, and a UFO over Central Park), plus, the guy who is supposed to be Banner looks nothing like Banner, and makes a pass at Marvel Girl (I realize that they like to play fast and lose with the age of their characters, but Marvel Girl is in her early 20s while Banner is closer to late 30s early 40s).

So, the story itself has Marvel Girl and Spidey (both in costume) escorting Banner (in a suit) around Manhattan, and a pair of robberies being pulled off in full sight of the two heroes (the costumed crooks both explained that they saw Spidey, but didn’t think it was him). Seriously, nothing in the story hangs together as reasonable. It was as if some random fanboy thought it would be a cool idea to have these characters appear in the same story, and then simply wrote it up and (somehow) got it published. (Hey, you ever read fan fiction? Most of it blows chunks.)

By way of salvation, the second story reads much better (and should have been the Lead). This was followed up by an old Venom story, a Spidey Limited series tale, and Spider-Man J (the Japanese travesty that editorial insists on foisting on us). Ever since the start of BND I have been saying that virtually all of the other Spidey books read much better than what is going on in BND. Here is a most notable exception.

Don’t try to adjust your set

No, this isn’t an episode of The Twilight Zone, this is your real life. or rather your Post-BND Spider life. Heaped on top of all of the other indignities that we've been forced to endure (no marriage to MJ, Harry is dead/not dead, Spidey can’t seem to catch even the most bumbling of muggers, and the randomness of slowly-eroding, previously-established continuity). The most recent indication of which is that in ASM#551 wherein Peter sells a photo to the new owner of The Daily Bugle, for two grand, and Peter thinks that should just about enough to make a batch of web fluid.



Apparently since continuity no longer matters, no one recalled that back in Sensational Spider-Man #0 (1996) has Ben Reilly able to prep a new batch of webbing for $16.50 and some trash he scavenged from a nearby dumpster. While I realize that I don’t expect every aspect of the previous 45 or so years of continuity to be recalled, but really...



Now, (in Spider-Man Family #8, of all places) we are being forced to endure the indignities of generic, badly-written plots. To be sure, previous issues have all read better than recent issues of Amazing, but that level of quality seems to be slipping with this most recent issue of Family. In this issue, we have two new stories (both retro-fitted into Spidey’s past)

The first one has Spidey and Iron Man teamed (obviously timed to help promote IM’s up-coming movie) where the two heroes go up against rogue sleeper robots built by Stark’s dad in a Cold War era to act as doomsday protectors against a Russian invasion). At the conclusion of the story there is a cute nod to the “ideas” that IM has to improve Spidey’s costume (which naturally became the Iron Spidey costume). The second story (where the real sloppiness occurs) has Peter and Bobby Drake bumping into each other in Manhattan, and then both racing towards the same restaurant (with their respective dates — peter, interestingly enough, with Gwen not MJ) to be the ones to get there to make the last table.

The story is OK, only it feels like something that was left over from a previous script and then doctored to fit into this retcon. (Spoiler alert) the story ends with both Bobby and his date, and Peter and Gwen arriving at the restaurant only to discover that Ben Grimm is already there with his date (presumably Alicia Masters). The appearance of Grimm leads some to believe that perhaps this story was originally crafted with Johnny Storm not Drake. (Spoiler alert over).

Bobby in the city at this time, (and with a girlfriend), racing for a restaurant against Pete simply doesn’t ring true, especially considering that Bobby and Peter have never met (in spite of the fact that Spidey and Ice Man have met (most notably in X-Men #s 27 & 35, and Marvel Team-up V1 #4. Still, as civilians, these two individuals simply never met (unless there is some rectcon about which I know nothing). Plus, let’s make sure to mention that Bobby is younger (by a couple or three years) than Peter.

I’ve been reading Spidey stories for quite some time, and I’ll be honest, near as I can recall, the first (and only) time that Peter (willingly) revealed his secret Identity to any other hero was to Johnny Storm in Spider-Man Human Torch #5. (before you all go off the deep end, in that issue Spidey revealed to Torch that DD, Wolverine, Dr. Strange and (probably) Prof X had all figured it out with their powers), and he did tell Black Cat (she has played both sides of the law, and even though they were partners for a while), but given that she has been on both sides of the law (depending on her use in in the story), she really can’t be considered the straight and narrow “hero” type.

And yeah, there is MJ and Aunt May (who both knew his identity by this time), but still, Pete willing letting another hero into his privacy circle was a big deal (According to New Avengers, only six or seven months old by this time) we see that both Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew—whom he met in her comics in #s 20 & 29) knew his identity as did DD (which we just established here). Also, obviously so did Cap Who recruited Pete into the New Avengers after the breakout on the Raft (Cap mentioned a SHIELD file, so it is probable that SHIELD (Nick Fury and perhaps others) knew as well.

So I suppose that after all of that perhaps Bobby could have known, but it is more likely that someone (the writer of the editor of SMF #8) half remembered that MTU issue, and simply tossed it in to make the story
work.” Needless to say, for me, it simplyjavascript:void(0)
Save Now didn’t.

I can’t wait for this entire sordid episode to be over, but I seriously shudder to think what travesty will follow. I fear that it can only get worse.

Oh yeah, if I’m shown that I’m wrong (in that Bobby did know Pete’s secret identity), I’ll be happy to apologize in this space.