Billionaires Shouldn’t Exist

Because certain concepts, especially involving extremely large numbers, are difficult for us to wrap our heads around we are starting off this review like this:

One million seconds is exactly 11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes, and 40 seconds (approximately 11.57 days).

To put this in perspective:

·         1 million seconds: ~11.5 days

·         1 billion seconds: ~31.7 years

·         1 trillion seconds: ~31,709.8 years

We’ve done this to demonstrate the massive gap between a million seconds and a trillion seconds. The same can be said about dollars. Having done that, let’s get into this book.

The Graphic Novel, F*ck Billionaires is a 304-page, full-color, oversized (8.25” x 12.25”) hardcover graphic novel written and illustrated by Jim Di Bartolo who is a book, comic, editorial, and freelance mixed media artist who has written and co-written a number of graphic novels.

The story is an edge-of-your seat thriller where the warning “Billionaires should not exist. Get ready.” begins appearing graffitied across skyscrapers worldwide. The one question on everyone’s minds, is who could possibly be writing these messages, Unfortunately, no group is claiming responsibility for these worldwide coordinated threats how serious should they be taken? How was it even possible for someone to scale these massive skyscrapers to paint the messages on the side of the buildings all around the world apparently instantaneously,

Needless to say, the very smug and complacent top one percent ignore it, determining that it’s a hoax. That they are safe and absolutely protected by their own money, standing, and bunkers. However, much to their dismay, they won't be ignoring it for long. F*ck Billionaires is twist-filled whodunit/howdunit kick in the teeth to the ubar-wealthy elite, told in the form of a 300-page, full color, oversized, hardcover graphic novel.

The story begins with an attractive, well-dressed blonde woman (whom we later learn is Valerie Cooper, a morning newscaster) approaching a well-dressed man (Leo Vargas, whom we later learn is an F.B.I. agent) in a coffee shop. After some light flirtation between them, they get their coffee and donuts and exit the shop, only to be confronted by the first graffitied skyscraper. From here the story grows exponentially as Agent Vargas and his team attempt to track down who is behind the messaging, and Valerie sits behind her news desk reporting on the contusing graffitiing of skyscrapers around the world. Meanwhile we also see how these “incidents” are affecting the wealthy and powerful.

As the story unfolds, we are randomly treated to how people on social media are reacting to the various elements of the story. Everything from showing support for whoever is posting the messages, to showing sympathy for the 1%ers (“Hey, billionaires are people also, they deserve what they have.”) Still, perhaps the best part of this part of the story is not so much the “posts” themselves, but the often misspelled or abbreviated words used in the posts.

The story continues to play out on four levels, first, we have Valerie operating in her role as a morning news anchor holding roundtables on her show with various experts (politicians, billionaires, security experts, etc.) to discuss the implications of the messaging. Second, there is Agent Vega and the F.B.I. attempting to unravel the cryptic messing and determine who is doing it and why. And then there are the Billionaires themselves who are alternating between circling their wagons, defending their position as industry leaders, and using their own muscle to root out the culprits. Finally, there are vignettes of everyday people whose lives are made worse by the fact that the running elites are sucking up all the resources and making their lives miserably and significantly worse. Along with these everyday folks there is an independent blogger who is also following the story and reporting on aspects of it not covered by corporate media.

Then, just in case you haven’t as of yet figured out on which side of this argument Di Bartolo is on, he goes way out of his way to make it crystal clear by not only illustrating the billionaires with far less than flattering features (they often have rugged, cragged, or even cruel faces), but they are given nasty-sounding names (Nicolas Lister, Manuel Hines, Albert Nazl, Kendall Squigi, and the like). He also depicts them doing evil and cruel things.

As the story progresses, the billionaires begin to die in the most grewsome of ways (violently, decapitation, defenestration—love that word—and always very messy). Sometimes in private behind locked doors, sometimes publicly in front of numerous people, but never by anyone identifiable, and always in some impossible fashion. Always, Agent Vargas and his team are one step behind, and Val Cooper is analyzing the attacks on national TV. No one knows what is happening (or how), but the bodies keep piling up, and the skyscraper messages keep appearing. Meanwhile “regular” folk weigh in on the crisis (even though they don’t know anything) while the billionaires themselves rail about how unjustly they are being treated, while they demand that their security (and the politicians they’ve paid off) protect them.

The story grows more and more tense as the body count increases with no clues as to who is doing this, or what their motivation is (other than that billionaires themselves simply shouldn’t exist. To his credit, Di Bartolo keeps the tension up throughout the book, alternating the lighthearted moments of romance between Cooper and Vargas, with the terror of not knowing who is doing the killing or how it is being done, the backroom mechanizations of the billionaires and their lackies to stay ahead of the killer, and the FBI Investigation teams. This story is truly an edge-of-your-seat thriller in a way that most comics and graphic novels are never able to achieve.

It isn’t until about three-quarters of the way through the book that we, the readers, get our first glimpse of who is doing the killings, why it is being done, or even how they are being accomplished—and let me tell you that you simply won’t see any of it coming. It is genuinely, that out-of-the-box amazing. To reveal any more would be to ruin the unadulterated fun of the tale. So, if you were unfortunate enough to miss the Kickstarter, I strongly recommend you hurry over to their web store and pick yourself a copy.

As an illustrator, author, and fine artist Di Bartolo has contributed covers, artwork, and interior art to most major book publishing houses including Scholastic, GRAPHIX, Marvel Comics, Penguin Random House, Little, Brown Books, Abrams, Dark Horse, IMAGE Comics, and others. He has done commissions and sold his work to private collections.

Oh, and one last thing, when Di Bartolo sent out the graphic novels to backers, he apparently forgot to autograph them, so several weeks after the book arrived, I received a letter containing an explanation and a sticker with a printed signature on it with instructions as to where in the book to place it. Seriously, how totally cool is that?

Almost forgot, because I was a backer to the original Kickstarter push, I was also sent this very cool F*ck Billionaires patch that will most assuredly wind up on my vest.