We don't need no Steekin' book!

So, in a new article, Julie Taymor (the director of the problem-plagued Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark) she went on about how the play is more about the spectacle than about than actual story, “You can do spectacle on Broadway with no book and have a very successful show.” I found this quote particularly interesting, as it was essentially what Tim Burton said about the first two Batman films he directed (I spoke extensively about this in this blog's first post).

Burton had said that there were many great Batman stories, but his films weren't any of them. He then, like Taymor now, are more interested in the “make it look pretty and people will come” school of thought (which of course gave rise to crap like “Reality TV” and shows like Jerry Springer. In ancient Rome it was referred to as Bread and Circuses.

I dispute this soul-killing nonsense, as the stupid-sounding crap that it is.

Of course you need stories, that is what Stan, Jack, Steve, JRSr, and many others since have given us that made us love this medium as much as we do. Story is the thing Ms Taymor, Mr. Burton not spectacle. Spectacle is the the voice that says “fans don't want company-wide crossovers, but we’re going to do another one anyway” (You listening Joe Q.?)

You want to sell more comics? write better stories. It really is that simple. Too bad no one is listening.

T.H.U.N.D.E.R. in the (comicbook) Heavens!

Truthfully, I wasn’t ever sure that I would live long enough to actually see this day. No, seriously. This week a brand-new issue of the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents hit the stands for the first time in like 15 years. (The last original occurrence of the Agents appeared in OMNI Comics #3 (1995). Prior to this single story (the first in a new, authorized line) there were two other unauthorized occurrences of the Agents (Deluxe Comics, ‘84 & Solson Publications ‘87). Other than the Omni appearance the previous authorized appearances were in Texas Comics, the JC Comics line, and Archie Comics' Red Circle Comics line (all ’83).

I had all but given up hope. Then,after my friend John Carbonaro (legal owner of Wally Wood’s legacy), passed away a year or so back, I was approached by the executor of John’s estate to consult with him on the disposition of the property (to the point, he wanted to know who had expressed interest over the years, and who might offer him the best options for licensing the property — a service I was happy to perform). Well, as you all know by now, the characters wound up at DC, and, well, now that I’ve read the first issue, I have to say two things.


1) So far, I really like what I see
2) John would have hated it.


Please be assured, this is no reflection on the quality of the comic (which is a good as any superhero book I’ve ever read), but simply because John had a very specific vision of who these characters are (were) and, well, this wasn’t it. John saw his role in the Agents story as a caretaker for the legacy of Wally Wood. He never wanted to re-imagine them (even though virtually everybody who wanted to license them wante to remake the Agents — not so much as Wood left them, but as they (the new creators) envisioned them.


No, this isn’t what John wanted. For years I argued with him against this stance, now that he is gone, I trully understand what he was trying to say all along. Again, this is not to reflect poorly on what Nick Spenser has delivered, this is just “different” from what John wanted, based on his perception of who the Agents were as originally perceived by Wood.


Still, to the issue at hand. 


DC’s T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents. The original team is long since gone (dead, one presumes), and well, by the end of the first issue, so too is the current team (sorry this might be something of a spoiler, but as it is something of the core precept of this new incarnation, there really is no way around revealing it. You see, as we always knew, the items that endow the Agents with their super powers are slowly killing them (which is what made the Agents truly unique in the first place), this new incarnation takes that aspect and amps it up to the max. 

Let me just let that settle in for a moment. Everyone is expendable.  As a fan of the original series, I’m not quite sure I like that, but as a fan of the series, I think it is truly a wicked-cool idea. Think of it as the cast of the original Law and Order TV series, only in spandex and with a life-expectancy. Over the 20-year run of the series, every character was replaced at least once, and some, several times (with one or two returning in the same roles). This way, the writer can play around with the ever-fluctuating dynamics of the group. 


From a creative point of view, the book will (or should) never get stale. If one character becomes boring, or plays out his or her story, simply write them out of the series and replace them with someone else. Cast becoming too squeaky clean? Mix it up with some bad boy/girl characters. Alter the diversity or gender ratio of the group. Want to really shake thing up? Kill off the most popular character.


If this sounds callous, perhaps it is, but work with me for a minute here,, why not? One one biggest grips with a series is that nothing can ever really change. Joe Quesada thinks that Peter Parker should not just NOT be married, but Never have been married, because to him, Spidey should remain — if not a teenager in high school — as close to that has possible. Sure sure, Superman, Captain America and other heroes died, but since they still need their respective comicbook companies still need the characters to license T-Shirts, toys and the like, we all know that they are coming back (witness the recent resurrection of numerous Marvel & DC characters over the past couple of years). 

On TV, we all know that nothing really bad will ever happen to the title character in a series because they need to be there next week. With shows like Law & Order, that isn't so true any more. Now, with this same approach in T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents, the same can be said. Is there a down side? Absolutely, but this reviewer (and friend of John Carbs), thinks that it is a good thing, and while I’m totally sure that John would hate it. I honestly feel that the best way to honor his legacy (to keep the Agents relevant), this is the way to go. 


Personally, (and based solely on this initial issue, as well as this approach) I give the new series my full approval. Now (hopefully), Nick Spencer will live up to not only my high hopes, but John’s stubborn endurance, as well as the enduring legacy of Wally Wood himself.

Get ready foe an Iron Man (2) Summer!

Well, this is interesting, it appears that Iron Man 2 has already made its international debut, and, courtesy of it's new corporate master, Disney, it already looks like it will be pulling in blockbuster-level box office Bucks!

"Iron Man 2" took in $100 million in its international debut this past weekend, auguring well for its U.S. opening May 7. More important, the movie will serve as a barometer of Walt Disney Co.'s ability to integrate Iron Man creator Marvel Entertainment, with its tangled legacy of licensing and distribution arrangements.

While we certainly hope that the Disney/Marvel merger-nee-acquisition it looks like that the Mouse House is certainly rolling out the red carpet.

Further down the road, Mr. Iger said he expects Iron Man and other Marvel characters to become "presences" at some Disney theme parks, initially through smaller attractions than set-piece rides. Again, though, the company is somewhat constrained by agreements previously struck by Marvel, which granted Universal Studios Florida the exclusive right, in the region, to create rides based on many of its major characters, including Iron Man.

Now we just have to have them fix that terrible, terrible mistake Joe Q. did with Spidey, eh?

Defending the indefensible

I don’t normally blog like this, but I just read most of an article on Comic Book Resources (CBR) that reported on a Marvel panel at the Emerald City ComiCon. Most notably at this panel was Marvel EiC, Joe Quesada, who fielded some questions about the current non-state of Peter and MJ. Personally, I really wish I had been there, because I have some follow-up questions that I'd like to posit to him.

The first question Quesada was asked was:

To what level do I have to debase myself to get Spider-Man and Mary Jane back together?” The fan then threw out a couple of suggestions, including “I’ll even take a guest spot on ‘Heroes.’”

His response was that he acknowledged the controversial un-marrying of the couple and indicated that Marvel have no plans to undo the undone. He then explained:

“We worked too hard to get Peter to this point. I can understand why some of you want to see the characters grow old, but we have to manage these characters for the future – a future beyond you and me. A married Peter Parker – as cool as that may seem – from a creative standpoint, it handcuffs the character. It’s a very problematic thing for Peter because it cuts him off and makes Peter the oldest person in the book.”

OK, let’s parse this for just a minute. “We worked too hard to get Peter to this point...” A valid point, but how about the 25+ years of work that it took for the previous creators took to get Peter and MJ to the alter, and the 20 years that they spent as a happily married couple? What gives you the right to simply undo all of that?

“...from a creative standpoint, it handcuffs the character...” Doesn’t making him a white male from a working, middle-class, Christian background also handcuff the character? Not to mention loading him up on such high moral standards? Why not make him more like Wolverine and have him simply gut bad guys? Well, that because that‘s so not who the character is. You‘ve set the rules, now you need to abide by them.

“it cuts him off and makes Peter the oldest person in the book.” Ah, Joe, do you read the book? Aunt May? Joe Robertson? Ben Urich? JJJ? Seriously, your answers are making less sense than some of the silly crap I’ve heard attributed to Stan (and I really like Stan).

Joe continued with ...

“It’s very tough to write because you want to see Peter and M.J. happy, and in a book where, really at its crust, is a soap opera about Peter’s life, the minute he gets everything he wants and life is happy, the stories get boring. So how do you create [the conflict the drama needs]?” OK, that’s a valid point, but my counterpoint to this is, if you can’t find writers who can write interesting stories based on the parameters of the character, then, well, you need to hire writers who are more talented.

John Byrne once told me that, when writing Superman, he really needed Superman to utter a curse word, only, Superman simply doesn’t talk like that, so it required John to challenge himself to write believable, powerful dialogue that conveyed the same range of emotions without using the epithet. To my way of thinking, if your writers can't write compelling stories, stop making excuses for them and admit they are simply not talented enough, and you need better writers.

When the fan countered that reading the current spate of stories of a single Peter Parker felt like the character was treading over preexisting territory. Quesada responded by saying,

“I totally understand. But while it may feel like a retread to you, if I talked to a ten-year-old right now who just started reading Spider-Man a year and a half ago, this is totally brand new. And when you look at every iteration of Spider-Man out now – the movies, the cartoons – he’s a single guy.”

Again, is Joe Q. that far out of touch with his fan base? I truly believe that if you spoke to a 10-year-old about Spidey, they would all know who he is, but you would be hard-pressed to find one that was actually reading the comic. I’ve said it over and over, but Joe is not only pitching the book to an audience that simply does not exist, but to one that hasn’t existed in the better part of a decade-and-a-half. Further, isn’t that why the Ultimate and Marvel Adventure universes created? To appeal to a younger (more diverse) audience?

Sure you’ll find youngsters who go to the movies, play the videogames, and watch the animated adventures on TV, but few (if any) of them are actually buying the comic (if they were, sales of the comics would be at those over-inflated ‘80 & early ‘90 numbers, instead of where they currently are today).

No, I'm not buying the company line that Spidey has to be perpetually younger, not when the same folks who are buying Spidey are buying comics featuring adventures of adult characters, Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, etc. Also, Peter is one of the most moral and upstanding characters in the Marvel Universe. He would never make a deal with the Devil (completely ignoring that any deal with the devil always ends badly for the person making the deal, as well as the fact that my own moral upbringing prevents me from acknowledging that Mephisto has that much power).

As I’ve told Spidey editor, Stephen Wacker, I’m too much of a fan of the character to boycott the book, and I’m too professional to get mad at the creators to yell at them in public, so I’ll keep reading the title and hope that eventually editorial will come to their (spider) senses and simply fix the book. ‘Til then, I feel that it is my own moral imperative to continue to remind them that “With great responsibility...”

Taking the coward's way out

Several years ago (early-to mid ‘90s) So youngster got his hands on a Marvel trading card for the Red Skull that identified him as a Nazi. Well being a bright and curious lad, he asked his father what a Nazi was. Well, surprised and shocked the father took exception to Marvel having the audacity of using something so innocuous as a trading card and supervillain to teach his precious, and innocent youngster about the worst villains from the 20^th Century (especially something that he would eventually learn about in history class), and complained to Marvel.

Well, as you can imagine, Marvel chose to — instead of standing on principal and who the character had been for half a century — chose instead to whimper and cower in the corner. They issued an edict that — moving forward — The Red Skull would simply be referred to as a really bad man, and any trace of his former atrocities would simply be wiped from his history.

Well, move forward 20 years and, yep, it is happening once again, and (interestingly enough) once again in the pages of Captain America:

In issue No. 602 of Captain America, the hero and his ally the Falcon find themselves at a rally where protesters hold signs that read “Tea Bag the Libs Before They Tea Bag You!” and “Stop the Socialists!” Captain America remarks that the assembly appears to be an “anti-tax thing,” and the Falcon, who is black, says he probably would not fit in with “a bunch of angry white folks.”

The sequence incited complaints from Tea Party officials who say it is an unfair criticism of their movement. In an interview with FoxNews.com, Michael Johns, a board member of the Nationwide Tea Party Coalition, called the characters’ apparent jabs “juvenile,” adding: “The Tea Party movement has been very reflective of broad concerns of all Americans. Membership is across ethnic, religious and even political lines.”

Some irate Cap fans have pointed out that during his heyday, Cap’s comic upset members of the German American Bund (in 1941). At that time everyone from publisher Martin Godman (who was usually given to flight rather than fighting when profits were involved), to NYC Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia encouraged creators Joe Simon & Jack Kirby to stand their ground and not compromise.

Unfortunately, these days the company has chosen to swallow its corporate and creative pride over what amounts to a single throwaway panel that (save for the accurate spelling of all the words on the various protest signs) accurately depicts the sentiments and slogans of the Tea Baggers.

One can only hope that Stephen Colbert (to whom Joe Quesada himself once Captain America’s fallen shield), will become aware of this, and lampoon it for the idiocy that it is. Go get ‘em Stephen!

Sing a song of Spider-Pence, a pocket full of rhyme...

So, word is now out that Sam Raimi, along with stars Toby Maguire and Kirsten Dunst have all taken a pass on Spider-Man 4. According to reports, the director was unhappy with the direction of the script and Columbia announced that the film was on indefinite hold.

...Columbia Pictures announced plans for a replacement movie focusing on the High School years of Spidey's alter-ego, Peter Parker. It will be released in summer 2012 with an as-yet-unnamed actor in the starring role and a script by James Vanderbilt.

Well, as depressing as all this may sound, from Heidi MacDonald, we learn that new Marvel owner, Disney, has come to the rescue of the previously announced-and-canceled Spider-Man Broadway musical.

Disney...has stepped in to get Spider-Man the Musical back on track, Michael Riedel at The New York Post reports.

Spider-Man Turn Off The Dark...has had a rocky road. With superstar director Julie Taymor, and superstar composers Bono and The Edge on board it seemed like a surefire hit, but monetary mismanagement, and Taymor’s divided attention with her movie career forced the planned February launch to be scuttled as the show became a financial black hole, blowing through some $52 million and needed four years of full houses just to break even.

One can only wonder if Avi Arad &/or Joe Quesada traded Sam Rami’s Spidey 4 to Mephisto to get Spidey the Musical, or he will try to trade the musical for the film

OK, It’s Official. Now I’ve Seen Everything!

You may not know this to look at me, but I am a secret citizen of the Colbert Nation. Yes, it is true. I’ve been watching The Daily Show since before Jon Stewart joined the team, and well, Steven Colbert is a hoot and a half. So you can just imagine how giddy this bit of info made me...

Yes, America, it's an election year. As the candidates duke it out in our existence, they're also going toe-to-toe in the Marvel Universe! Ladies and gentlemen, that means Stephen Colbert's candidacy for President is alive and well in the Marvel Universe.

(via Marvel)

OK, so, after the death of Steve Rogers, Joe Q. gave Colbert Captain America’s Shield, and now he is allowing Colbert to run for President? Is there nothing Joe won’t do? Wait? What’s that you say? He’s just cut a deal with Mephestio to...

I’m Mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take it any more!

This is going to take a while, so I beg your indulgence for the full run of my — admittedly — rather lengthy rant.

Yep, that’s right. I not a happy camper. Why (you may ask)? Well, it’s simple, it has been 10 issues of Brand New Day Spidey (11 if you count the Swing Shift Director's Cut one-shot). And no, I'm not going to rehash the stuff I’ve said about this in the past. All of that was (essentially) sight unseen of the new direction, and simply reacting to the concept. Now with 10 (11) issues under our collective belts, I can comment on where we actually are.

Let’s start out here: I have never seen such bad, formalistic, cliché-ridden dreck in the pages of Spider-Man in my life. Seriously. This isn’t so much Spider-Man as it is Spider-Mania (not Spider-Man, but in incredible simulation) and not even a good one at that. What do I mean? Well in the space of the nine issues of Amazing Spider-Man all of the following things have happened:


1. Peter has been mugged (his wallet and web shooter were stolen)
2. Pete lost his shoes while chasing said mugger
3. Spidey has been blamed for a series of muggings by a Spider-masked wearing bandit
4. Peter not only lost not only the mugger that stole his stuff, but (just a couple of issues later) another one that ripped off the donation box at the soup kitchen were Aunt May works
5. As Peter, apparently caused a heart attack in JJJ
6. Was forced (as Spider-Man) to give a vial of his (irradiated) blood to a supervillain
7. Has (as Spider-Man) been accused of five murders
8. As Spider-Man is being sued by a guy who's life he saved
9. As Spidey, gets the crap kicked out of him by a new supervillain
10. As Spidey is accidentally involved in the death of a NYC Council woman who is running for mayor
11. Rips the seat of his Spidey costume and flashes a crowd of bystanders
12. As Peter is forced to wash and repair his costume (oh where is the Mary Jane Comiquette now?)

Now, this may seem like an ordinary series of events in the life of Spidey, but I (who have been reading Spider-Man longer than Marvel Editor-in-Chief, and chief architect of OMD/BND Joe Quesada has been alive) say it simply ain’t so.

I remember back in the early ‘70s when Stan left the writing chores to others, who seemed to understand (at least superficially) what Spidey was, but not who he was. That is to say, they knew the formula, but didn’t understand the motivations. Thus, for a time Spidey literally stumbled from one crises to another. We were give “the illusion of change, with any actual change.”

Those of us who lived through that era call it The Bronze Age, and no, not fondly.

Spider-Man has long been described as Charlie Brown in tights, only that is so not true. Neither Peter Parker nor Spider-Man are losers. Sure, sure they are both habitually beset by the drama of the world that swirls around them, but neither one of them can truly be described as a loser. Science geek, sure; social nerd, without a doubt; a loner and something of a misunderstood misfit withing the superhero community; perhaps (though not so much lately — except for that whole Civil War/Superhero Registration Act thing), but a loser? Never. Not Spider-Man

I don’t read the comicstrip Cathy. I Stopped watching Cheers during the second season; and I certainly don’t buy any For Dummies or Idiot’s Guide to anything. Why? Well, the books (I feel) insult my intelligence and As for the others I can’t stand reading about someone who is always a whiner (Cathy) and the Cheers group simply stopped being interesting when they kept looking at themselves as if they were all losers. I don’t hang with those types of people in real life, so why would I seek them out as a form of entertainment?

The story of Spider-Man is the story of the struggle of the common man against the greater forces of nature. When Stan (co)created Spidey, he envisioned him as the anti-Superman. In Superman you have an adult male, who is a respected reporter for a daily metropolitan newspaper. Superman is (and always has been) a well-respected cultural icon. He has never been wanted by the police, never had a bad hair day, and never been on the losing end of anything. By contrast, Peter couldn't get a date, was constantly bullied by a classmate, was constantly being lorded over by his boss, and the cops are never really sure of his standing.

To be sure, the other superheroes always respected Spidey, and yeah, he did date some of the hottest women in comics (eventually marrying one of them — or, did he??) Casting him in the role of a hapless loser is just wrong (Oh, yeah, I also don’t actually like any of the Harry Potter films, because he isn’t so much of a hero as someone who is buffeted about by the forces around him,and is always saved at the last minute by someone else’s intervention).

Spider-Man is a hero. He stands up to villains with far greater power and ability than himself! Peter Parker is a certifiable genius. He designed his web shooters when he was 15! To write them any other way is simply not understanding either character. Loading Spider-Man up with all sorts of random obstacles over which he has to come is just stupid, and a bad approach to not only the character, but simply bad writing. I don’t read the comic to see how much Crap can be dumped on him by the writers, I read it to see the hero who is Peter Parker rise up and become.

I watched The Pursuit of Happyness, and while it was a powerful film, it was easily the most depressing film I had ever seen, because every time this guy turned a corner something worse happened to him, and yes, while he eventually overcame all obstacles for two hours I just got more and more depressed. I don’t want to read the on-going life story each and every month of this guy. I just don’t. But this is what Brand New Day is fast becoming. There are no clear-cut victories, there are just missed opportunities, loses, and “better than being poked in the eye with a stick, only not by much.”


I don’t like reading Spider-Man much these days. I hope it gets better, but I don’t see it happening anytime soon — and that just gets me depressed.